31 July 2007
Disruptive Peeps
Okay so the university police gave out a little tri-fold on safety considerations when dealing with disruptive people.

The words disruptive people are huge. I thought, "Are they trying to tell me something? Surely not...I mean, uh, since everyone got one."

So I now present MY list on how to deal with disruptive peeps..

1. Carry a big stick

2. Do not be afraid to swing the big stick.

3. Aim for the head or the knees.

4. Start praying for them...out loud...

5. Take a firm body posture, use an authoritative tone and firmly tell them in an even manner that you forgot to take your medication this morning and the other personalities are not enjoying the public spectacle and demand "satisfaction".

What do you think?


posted by -atomik kitten @ 2:38 PM   1 comments
My Jamba Juice Fiasco!!
Okay, help me understand!!

I went to Jamba Juice yesterday and got a peach something or other.. You know, they don't put sugar or stuff like that in the smoothies which is awesome. They were out of the energy booster so I opted for some kind of vitamin enhancer. I paid over $3.00 for a 16 oz smoothie. It had this little slogan on the cup (and some guy was in there drinking wheat grass juice) that said something like to do good things for your body so your body will do good things for you.

Now because they are all natural and stuff...I just have one question.

Why did they give me my smoothie in a styrofoam cup? How are they going to grow their wheat grass when all those cups do not bio-degrade? Hmm?? Kind of reminds me of little Al Gore III. Won't be saving much of the planet in a jail cell, now will he?

psss-shaw! This is nonsense...

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posted by -atomik kitten @ 9:48 AM   0 comments
30 July 2007
Remind me again why I wanted to see that movie? Okay, I understand it's The Simpsons. Think about this:

1. Do NOT take your young child. If your child is younger than 13 do NOT take them. I made that mistake. Unless of course you don't mind hearing the Lord's name taken in vain or seeing Bart naked (I don't mean like the cartoon show naked, either).

2. Go with really low expectations and you should be okay. It's not that funny. Do yourself a favor and just go rent a couple of seasons of the earlier ones.


posted by -atomik kitten @ 8:36 AM   2 comments
Guideline 95
95. Do not exorcise a three year old and do not allow anyone to perform an exorcism on your three year old.

I get it - some people are religions beyond means. I'm fine with that. I do not have a formed or an educated opinion on exorcisms. I don't know - Jesus just told the demons to be gone and they did. He didn't have to beat people or choke them. With that being said...

What the heck is wrong with this picture? The grandfather was trying to exorcise his three year old grand-daughter (yes, three years old). He was choking her. Her mom (19) was found in the room bloody and chanting. It took a couple of stuns from the cops to get the monster (read: the grandfather). He died. I'll try to hold back my grief.

The cops are only considering pressing charges against the mother. Considering.

Okay, here's a hint. I have three kids...three boys ages 9, 9, and 6. When they are 3, they are loud, obnoxious, and starting to try their hand at being mouthy (which didn't go too far with me). That doesn't make them demon possessed. It makes them children.

I so think there should be a common sense test for parents... Never mind.. I am not going there right now.


posted by -atomik kitten @ 8:30 AM   2 comments
27 July 2007
Oh my...
I promise you that I am completely potty trained. Really, I am.

I was reading the classifieds today. Some person was selling their Sooner Football season tickets. That made me smile. The price was $3000.00. That made me soil myself almost...

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posted by -atomik kitten @ 2:17 PM   0 comments
25 July 2007
Yeee Haaaww!!
You Are 35% Redneck

The wheels still turning, but the hamster's dead.
You're just fakin' bein' a redneck.

The quiz asked if I knew anyone that's ever been on Jerry Springer... I don't, but I know a few people that could be!

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posted by -atomik kitten @ 9:16 PM   3 comments
24 July 2007
Giving your best
In Genesis chapter 22 we read about how God called Abraham to give his son Isaac as a sacrificial offering. I can't imagine the hurt Abraham must have felt when God called him to sacrifice the gift God gave him. Abraham was right on, though, when he told Isaac that God would provide a lamb. When Isaac was bound up and Abraham had his knife ready to kill his son, the Lord stopped him because he knew that Abraham would give anything back to God. Of course God did provide a lamb - a ram rather...caught in the thicket.

Because of his willingness to sacrifice his very best thing (read: possession, talent, worldly living) for God to use, Abraham was blessed beyond measure. Have you ever tried to count the grains of sand on the beach? It would be a rather futile thing to try. That was the blessing God gave to Abraham - He would multiply his descendants to out number the grains of sand.

What do you have that God is calling you to use for His glory? What is God calling you to sacrifice in order to deepen your walk with Him? I doubt it is your first born child...Jesus took care of all the blood sacrifices. What is it that keeps your attention turned away when you should be seeking His face?

Are you ready for your blessing? If so, ready your sacrifice.


posted by -atomik kitten @ 9:15 PM   2 comments

I just had my psychology professor tell me that I should go to grad school for psychology. Did I mention that psychology isn't even my major?

I've been considering a change for about four months now. The big problem was that my university didn't offer a BA in Psych. So I was looking at Regent. The big problem there is that I couldn't start until Spring 2008. Then I'd have to worry about the credits transferring.

So I've been praying about it. I know my call is in the ministry (kind of like an apostolic version of Dr. Laura), but I just didn't know how to get there without throwing away practically all of my credits and thousands of dollars (because I am half way finished with a BS in paralegal studies). I told God to make the way. Regent didn't get back with me after I started asking the tough questions on credits.

When the prof told me to consider graduate school I told him that it was a nice dream, but I was going to have to change colleges to pursue a BA in Psychology. He said no I didn't. Kaplan University is bringing in the program at the first of the year!! On top of that, they plan to offer a graduate's program in it too!

If that's not God's work, then I don't know what is. I am just so glad that I serve a prayer answering (and fleece wetting) God!

Oh, and I know how proud yall will be of me... I am the official class troublemaker.

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posted by -atomik kitten @ 8:45 PM   2 comments
There are some last names that I would just have to change if it was my last name...

Such as...


Sorry, but it is too close to orifice.


posted by -atomik kitten @ 11:07 AM   1 comments
23 July 2007
I am soooo cool!
Okay, so not really. Did I tell yall that Saturday I won tickets to see Transformers (again) and the soundtrack? The Cop Magnet went to pick them up today. I will be sending the tickets to Fatty McChuckles in an effort to get back on his Christmas card list.

Sunday was interesting...didn't make it to church because of some family drama involving Grandpa Joe and his fondness of hitch hiking... This week is family camp out at the UPC campgrounds. I can't go tonight or tomorrow night. I plan on going the other three nights. So if you don't hear from me....just know that I am much too busy shouting my hair down at revival!


posted by -atomik kitten @ 4:43 PM   0 comments
22 July 2007
In the last week (and please keep in mind that since I work and have kids and a husband that my time is rather limited) I've downloaded around 3 gigs of files (backgrounds, embellishments, ect) for digital scrapbooking. My little lap top here only has an 80 gig drive.. So The Cop Magnet had to give me one of his 20 gig portable drives. I am going to move the files over to it for now.

So I am now drowning in digital files. The fun thing is that you can find them for free.

Other than that not much has been going on...

Grandpa Joe managed to hitch hike from OKC to Noble. Nana Beachy wants to send him off to family camp for a week, but I am very afraid that he would manage to wander off and get lost out in the sticks. I just don't know what we can do about him. Nana Beachy, Poppy, The Cop Magnet, and myself think it is time to put him in a more supervised assisted living center. We just can't get Uncle Cousin Jerry Springer to agree to it...and yet he is always wanting us to come up and take care of him. It was his idea to move Grandpa up there..

Yesterday we made pizza and cookies. We also went swimming for about three hours.. Today is church and I am just sitting around. I am very tired. I went to bed at like 8 last night and got up at 9 this morning. I am still tired.

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posted by -atomik kitten @ 11:21 AM   0 comments
19 July 2007
My second page

I did this in about an hour today on lunch using Adobe Elements. It is actually a hair bit friendlier than Photoshop CS2, but the concepts are the same.

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posted by -atomik kitten @ 8:58 PM   1 comments
Okay, we all know the story of Noah...and the animals two by two that he took in to the ark.

Did you notice...and I noticed today reading the story to the boys...that some animals came in groups of seven and that he did not take the animals to the ark? The animals came to him.

We are using a children's Bible reading program and I am glad that it skips over the whole drunken Noah...

Yet it makes me wonder, are we still considered descendants of Adam and Eve when we came from Noah's re-population of the Earth?

My head is killing me.

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posted by -atomik kitten @ 8:53 PM   2 comments
Guilty Verdict!!
Rest in peace, baby girl.

Jurors Find Raye Dawn Smith Guilty

Bristow - Jurors have found a Lincoln County woman guilty of child abuse in the death of her two-year-old daughter nearly two years ago.

The jury deliberated for just over two hours before returning the guilty verdict against Raye Dawn Smith, whose daughter, Kelsey Smith-Briggs, died in October 2005 from blunt force trauma to the abdomen.

Jurors recommended 27 years in prison for Smith, who denied the accusations. Her defense attorneys told jurors that Michael Porter, Smith's husband at the time, was responsible for the little girl's death. They said Porter sexually abused and killed the girl.

But, prosecutors alleged Smith either abused the girl, or allowed Porter to abuse her. Porter was sentenced earlier this year to 30 years in prison for enabling child abuse. He testified this week that he witnessed Smith abusing her daughter.

Kelsey's father, Lance Briggs, spoke with NewsChannel 8's Jerry Giordano shortly after the jury returned its verdict.

"I was shocked," Briggs told NewsChannel 8. "I wasn't so much shocked that they gave her the guilty verdict. I was shocked at the amount of years they gave her."

Briggs says he's satisfied with today's verdict. But, he says no matter what happens to Raye Dawn Smith, nothing will bring his daughter back.

Guardianship of Kelsey Smith-Briggs had been granted to her grandmother Kathie Briggs earlier in 2005 after the girl's stepmother discovered bruises and injuries on her back and rear. The child was taken to a doctor, who diagnosed the abuse and placed her in casts on both legs.

But, the toddler was returned to her mother just four months before her death after a judge ruled that the person who had abused her wasn't known. Kathie Briggs says despite today's verdict, she doesn't have closure.

"People always use that word 'closure'," she says. "The only way to me that you could have closure is if you wake up and realize this is a bad dream and Kelsey's sitting right beside you. I don't believe in closure."

"There's no such thing as fair," Lance Briggs added. "The important thing here is that the system worked and justice has been served and that's been our goal since day one."

Theres a little video here too http://www.ktul.com/news/stories/0707/440389.html

posted by -atomik kitten @ 10:53 AM   1 comments
18 July 2007
My first attempt at digital scrapbooking

Yes, I know it stinks..but it is really fun. I am having a tough time getting the hang of using the free transform tool in Photoshop CS2.

For you smart 90s alternative music fans - I bet you know which musical group I got the words from...


posted by -atomik kitten @ 8:53 PM   0 comments
I am angry...hear me GRRR!!
I know, you've had to put up with a lot of GRRRing from me lately.

I tell you what... I hate that Ma Bell is getting all her babies back. Ever since AT&T bought SBC Global, my DSL has really been crappy. I lose my connection at any given time, and sometimes I even have to reboot my router. The Cop Magnet's computer suffers more than my lap top, but it is really crappy.

So... GRRR..


posted by -atomik kitten @ 8:51 PM   0 comments
17 July 2007
The Tree of Knowledge
Tonight we read about the fall of man and how Adam and Eve were kicked out of the Garden of Eden.

The boys thought it was pretty cool that a cherubim with a flaming sword that reached all directions was the guard.

Thought for the evening: If the Heavenly Father had trouble getting His children to obey, what makes you think that your kids will listen all the time to you?

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posted by -atomik kitten @ 9:46 PM   2 comments
Something new we've started
Bry-onicle, Monkey Butt, and myself have started something kind of cool...

About four years ago I bought Bry-onicle a Bible called The KJV for Young Believers. It has maps, did you know facts, and several different reading plans.

We chose overview of the Bible in three months which covers the major stories of the Bible.

Last night we read the creation story.

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posted by -atomik kitten @ 10:19 AM   1 comments
Spanish Word of the Day
Okay, so my co-workers and I subscribe to Spanish Word of the Day. Today's word was enano (midget, dwarf, very small). It has this phrase at the bottom:

Lo pasamos como enanos.

Which they said was "we had a great time" when it is translated. I still can't figure out how the word enanos fits into that sentence. One co-worker said, "Maybe they had to have a midget to have a good time."

Our student worker said it comes closer to we have passed with midgets.

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posted by -atomik kitten @ 10:13 AM   4 comments
Time Travel Tuesday
So this week we are supposed to talk about our favorite summer camp memories. The only summer camp I ever went to was Falls Creek...which is down near Davis, OK.

I haven't decided which was more fun - the time I slipped from the top of Devil's Bathtub and fell down the little water fall only to be laughed at by about 50 people...or the time I went hiking with a group of other teens and one adult...and it was so creepy - out in the dry, desert like conditions that I thought we might end up on an episode of Rescue 911 (anyone remember that show?).

I hated summer camp. LOL

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posted by -atomik kitten @ 9:28 AM   6 comments
16 July 2007
8th Things - College Edition
There are a few rules:
- Each player must post these rules first.
- Each player starts with eight random facts relating to college.
- Tagged people post their eight things and these rules.
- End your post by ‘tagging’ eight new people to play.
- Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog for these instructions.

Tagged by Becki...and if you are reading this, consider yourself tagged!

1. I am currently pursuing my BS in Paralegal Studies at Kaplan University. My GPA is 3.89.

2. I am considering a change in universities. I want to change my major to Psychology, but Kaplan doesn't offer it.

3. For obvious reasons (well, at least obvious to me) I am not a traditional college student. I started in January 2006 and I am slated to finish in the summer of 08.

4. In high school, I had (key word) a 4 year scholarship offered to me from three universities: University of Tulsa (Petroleum Engineering), University of Oklahoma (Chemistry and ROTC), and Vanderbilt. Like an idiot, I dropped out of high school and got my GED.

5. I can work better under pressure. I wrote my social problems final paper in about two hours.

6. I'm so bad...I am in class right now (online) and watching Hell's Kitchen!

7. I know that I am enjoying my higher education experience more now than I would have ten years ago. I am more prepared for it.

8. I will be the first person on both sides of my biological parents to get a GED and graduate from college!


posted by -atomik kitten @ 8:42 PM   3 comments
15 July 2007
I Dig Jesus
I was tagged by Ang to do this...and I am so stoked about it!!

Here are the Rules:
* Those Tagged will share 5 things they dig about Jesus.
* Those tagged will tag 5 other bloggers.
* Those tagged will provide a link in the comments section here with their name so that others can read them.

1. I dig that He did not come to judge the world. He came to save it. As a Christian, that is something that we must remember. It is in the book of John...14th chapter I think.

2. I dig that He loves children. It didn't matter to Him that His schedule was thrown off (if it was at all considering He is all knowing) because the children wanted to be with him.

3. I dig that He tells us not to be like the hypocrites when it comes to fasting and praying. There are just some things that should remain between the individual and God.

4. I dig that Jesus cried in the Garden of Gethsemene. He was God manifested in the flesh, and He had the same feelings we can have. He was tempted at one point, He cried, and He wanted the cup to pass from Him...nonetheless He asked for God's will to be done.

5. I dig that He was straight forward. He used a lot of parables, but He told it like it was. Love God with all your heart, love your neighbor, and do not judge. We will know the false prophets by their fruit and we will know God by His voice.

I really wanted to add number six - because He died for ME...and if you knew what I was like before Him, you would have thought me unsaveable. I was a walking self destruct button.

I tag.....

Coach J
Praise Fiddler

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posted by -atomik kitten @ 9:27 PM   3 comments
13 July 2007
What do you think?

The top is the original picture of The Little Miss. The rest of them I played with in Photoshop CS2.


posted by -atomik kitten @ 11:46 PM   4 comments
12 July 2007
Grumble II
I saw this slogan on myspace today:

Clinton lied to America and killed no one.

Bush lied to America and killed thousands.

Look, I don't like Bush. I voted for him, but he's definitely just digging a deeper hole to bury himself in. However, the sentence about Clinton is incorrect.

Clinton did kill thousands...unless everyone else cries amnesia - it was Clinton that ordered the bombing of Serbia during a *civil war* that we had no business sticking our nose in to (and I think it's time to bring our troops home from Iraq, too). Clinton was also offered bin Laden on a silver platter. Did he take it? No. The result? 9/11.

I love it when people try to lie. Either they do it on purpose hoping no one does their research or is too lazy to do anything but just accept it or they are ignorant and didn't do any of their own research and just passed it on.

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posted by -atomik kitten @ 10:32 PM   6 comments
Since I started working at the university, I've actually started to sleep between three and five hours a night consecutively before I wake up...then, of course, it takes me two or three hours to fall back asleep and depending on the time, what's the point?

I just can't sleep tonight. It probably doesn't help that my stupid neighbor is blaring her stupid radio.


posted by -atomik kitten @ 10:23 PM   1 comments
And the winner for the most creative spelling award is...
Whoever originally did the data entry on this 500 employer database: Dalax, TX...with a zip code that matches what the rest of us commonly remember to be called Dallas, TX.

Prize: a repeat trip through third grade geography!

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posted by -atomik kitten @ 1:42 PM   1 comments
11 July 2007
Hubby and Me(me)
Becki tagged to tell you eight fabulous things about my Hubby and me.

1. As of today we've known each other for 12 years. In November we will have our 7th wedding anniversary.

2. I met him in 1995 after he spammed me on a BBS with this awful ANSI ad for his BBS. I was 16 and stupid and called his BBS to chew him out. Then he hacked my computer.

3. We can finish each other's sentences, but we do not understand each other (and probably never will).

4. We have the same twisted sense of humor.

5. Regardless of any fight or argument we've had, we can pretty much rest assured that neither person is going anywhere. We are both very passionate (and hot headed) individuals. When we lock horns, we really lock horns.

6. He thinks it is nice to be married to his own personal spell check. I think it is nice to be married to my own personal IT support.

7. We are a great team when it comes to parenting. You have to be when it comes to kids. You can't both do your own thing. You have to work as a team.

8. He knows to never buy me chocolate (I hate it) and I know never to buy him computer stuff. I just get him a gift card instead. We have no problem telling each other the exact thing we want as far as gift giving goes. I don't want or need a bowling ball and he wouldn't know what to do with a tie.

I am tagging:

PraiseFiddler and Mix because I don't list a lot of people on my blog that I regularly communicate with other than them. LOL


posted by -atomik kitten @ 10:50 AM   3 comments
Pray for justice

I think that there should be an open season with no limit for hunting baby killers. I think that Michael Porter should be in with general population. I also think her mother should have her shins broken. When it comes to baby killers I honestly believe in an eye for an eye.

May God have mercy on their souls, because I wouldn't..May Kelsey's memory live. Don't ask me what I think of the judge that returned her home, either.

Kelsey's mother started her trial yesterday. Pray for justice.


posted by -atomik kitten @ 10:05 AM   2 comments
My beliefs
Going off of what I said in the previous post about having standards and to answer Becki's question about how I look different than most everyone else, I am now going to tell you a little bit about my beliefs.

Before I start I want to make something clear to you all. My beliefs are my personal convictions. Aside from attaining my salvation as required in the Bible, my personal convictions will not get me to heaven. They simply make me stand out from the crowd (be ye not transformed) and it is my way of sacrificing and showing my devotion to my God.

With that said...

I am a card carrying member of the UPC (okay, they don't really give us little cards...but it certainly makes for an interesting read). You can read more about the standards of the church here. Some standards vary from church to church...ie whether or not it is acceptable to wear wedding rings or have a television. Some are pretty much "industry standard". I don't expect any of you to truly understand or agree with them. All I can tell you is that once you have the Holy Ghost you begin to understand why having some limits on your own dress is a benefit for yourself and others that are around you.

Like I said in my post entitled, "Different" I stand out. I don't stand out because I have multiple piercings or because I have green hair. I stand out from everyone.

1. I do not cut my hair.

No, not even a trim. If anyone ever tells you that you need to trim your hair to encourage growth, you need to ask them where they learned that. Medical science: hair grows from the roots and not the ends. I quit cutting my hair in 2000 because I was trying to grow it out. I got the Holy Ghost in 2001.

The Bible (God's never changing word) tells us in 1 Corinthians 11:5-7 that (paraphrased) women should be covered when praying or prophesying. Our hair was given to us for a covering. What do you sheer off of a sheep? Hair (fur, whatever). We are the lambs that know the voice of our Master.

Will you, as a woman, go to hell for cutting your hair? I don't think so. I will say that I think women should look like women. However, aside from my personal opinion and my following 1 Corinthians, it is important to note that it is not a Commandment (like in the 10 Commandments), Jesus never talks about it, and the plan of salvation doesn't say for us to repent and oh, by the way, don't cut your hair. I think this is one of those things that becomes a personal conviction when you get close to God and get into His Word.

2. I don't wear pants, jeans, shorts, or capris. I put my skirt on one leg at a time...just like everyone else.

Okay, so not really. I hope none of my few male readers wear skirts (if you wear a kilt then the jury is still out...). I wear skirts and t-shirts, blouses etc...or a dress. Why? I am so glad you asked.

Deuteronomy 22:5 tells us that women should not wear clothes that pertains to a man. Meaning we should not wear men's clothing. Pants are men's clothing. Sure yeah, I know that there are companies that specifically make women's pants, jeans, shorts, etc., but the rest of the verse tells us that when we wear clothes that belong on the opposite sex, it is an abomination to God.

I know that some people think that because this is the OT that we don't have to live by it. I know we are covered by grace, but we need to remember that Jesus came to fulfill the law and not to abolish it. We are also told later in the Gospel that the laws are good for us. The thing is that we no longer have to offer up blood sacrifices or go to a priest to forgive us of our sins. We can go straight to God.

Yes I also know that there are some pretty immodest skirts and dresses out there. I feel personally that I am being immodest if I wear pants. They have the ability to draw a man's attention to the form of my body. The Bible tells us that we should not cause another person to stumble. That's another good reason for abiding by some personal standards. You wouldn't take a recovering alcoholic to a bar, would you?

3. I don't wear make up.

This is strictly personal. The only woman that is ever told about in the Bible that wore make up and was evil was Jezebel. I don't think that make up is necessarily a sin. Once again, you won't find Jesus talking about it or find it in the plan of salvation.

I don't wear make up because I feel that if I do I am insulting God. He made me therefore I am beautiful. I do not need to touch up and improve upon the Lord's work.

And I know someone out there reading this is thinking this so I'll just answer it now. No, I don't have a problem with women that come to my church wearing pants and make up. I'm glad they are in God's house. It is God's job to change whatever part of their life that He wants them to change. I also have no problem with people that wear make up to cover up a burn, scar, birth mark, etc.

4. When I buy clothing it must pass two tests: the praying test and the hallelujah test.

The praying test: I get on my knees. My skirt must touch the ground. Usually my skirts are at least mid-calf, but I have one or two that come just to my knee that I usually wear when I am working in the yard. I haven't found anything (including rock climbing) that I can't do in a skirt. You just have to have the right skirt!!

The hallelujah test: This is for shirts. You throw your hands up in the air and shout, "Hallelujah!" Okay, you don't really have to shout. I am just looking in the mirror to ensure that my belly isn't showing and that you can't look down my sleeves (if they are short) and see inside my shirt. Oh, and it helps to bend forward to make sure the shirt is tight enough in the front to not let your girls hang out for a public show.

That's really about it for me (at least for the big stuff). I hope I answered your questions and if not, feel free to send me more.

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posted by -atomik kitten @ 8:43 AM   5 comments
So much for love thy neighbor and all that other good stuff...
I was just going to use my default title, "Because Everyone is Entitled to My Opinion" but I changed my mind. I think this is rather serious.

I'm a fairly conservative Apostolic Pentecostal woman. At the same time, I am almost on the lunatic fringe of liberalism within my own denomination as a whole. I am fairly open minded and I don't preach hellfire and brimstone. We should show others the love that Christ so mercifully bestows on us. We are all called by The Great Commission to seek lost souls; we are never called to judge or condemn. If we do that, we are taking over God's job.

While we are made in God's image and called to follow the example of Jesus, we are not called to be God. We are not called to set up guidelines to save our soul. They are in the Bible. We don't need a lot of rituals and legalism (although I do believe that standards can be a benefit to helping us continue on our walk with God).

I think that if the pope makes it to heaven, provided he repents, he will be mighty surprised to see that the Catholics aren't the only ones in heaven...

Love the sinner and hate the sin. Love your neighbor. You can't do any of that if you are busy passing judgment on who will and will not make it to heaven.

Judge not, lest ye be judged.


posted by -atomik kitten @ 8:16 AM   0 comments
10 July 2007
Worst joke ever
To help you get ready for hump day tomorrow, I am going to tell you a really tacky joke. Don't worry, no comedians were harmed by being put out of a job by my telling such a bad joke.

There's a woman that gets on a city bus and she's holding her baby. The bus driver says, "Good grief! That is such an ugly baby! I've never seen a baby that ugly in all my life!" The woman gets mad and slams her change into the till and huffs to the back.

She sits down next to this guy and he notices she is upset. He asked her what was wrong and she said that the bus driver offended her.

He said, "He can't talk to you like that. He's a public servant! He ought to be ashamed of himself saying something offensive like that."

She said, "You're right! I'm going to march right up there and give him a piece of my mind!"

He said, "Yes you should! Do you want me to hold your pet monkey for you while you go?"


posted by -atomik kitten @ 4:19 PM   4 comments
Guideline 94
94. You shall not stand on the bed when the ceiling fan is on.

Okay, this one is for my beloved husband, The Cop Magnet. The other night he stood up on the bed. He was just a little too close to the ceiling fan. It hit him so hard that all the dust bunnies went flying across the room.

The good news is that the ceiling fan is okay...why am I not worried about him? Because I know what a hard head he has!

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posted by -atomik kitten @ 8:42 AM   2 comments
08 July 2007
The Lineage of Jesus

So you think that because you come from a severely dysfunctional family that Jesus can’t possible love you, huh? Well let’s take a look at His lineage. This is all the begats and begots, but we aren’t going to quote the entire thing.

Abraham (who lied twice about his relationship with his wife…said she was his sister) begot Isaac.

Isaac begot Jacob (the great deceiver who stole the birth right from his brother and then got tricked into marrying Leah…did I mention that he hated Leah and loved Rachel more?).

Jacob begot Judas and Judas begot a whole lot of people.

Of the most important of Judas’ children we have Boaz…the one that married Ruth. He begot Obed.

Obed begot Jesse…

Jesse was David’s father. David was also a murderer and an adulterer…and, peculiar as it is, David was also listed as a man after God’s own heart because of his devotion to God.

David begot Solomon…which was the child of his adulterous affair. Solomon, although wise, eventually gave in to severe temptation and ended up writing Ecclesiastes.

Solomon (the proud) begot a lot of people including Jehosephat.

Solomon’s great great great great great (I might have miscounted) grandson was Josiah.

Add ten greats to Josiah and you get Joseph (husband of Mary).

Poor Joseph wants Mary for a bride and finds out she’s pregnant. He loves her and thinks about putting her away (divorcing) privately instead of her probably being stoned to death. An angel of the Lord comes to him and says, “Whoa! Don’t do that. It’s all good! This is the coming King and yall need to name Him Jesus!” Okay, so that is the Sister Robin translation of that dialogue.

Yall know the rest of the story I am sure, so I won’t continue. I urge you to take a long look at the lineage above. We have liars, adulterers, the proud, the vain, and murderers. Yeah, and you thought your lineage was dysfunctional.

It doesn’t matter. Jesus loves you regardless. The way some people put a label on those that come from such a background makes you wonder if Jesus had to deal with that, doesn’t it? Think twice before you label someone or they may just become a self fulfilling prophecy (as in because someone was abused as child they will become an abuser). Jesus broke the mold so we could do it, too.


posted by -atomik kitten @ 7:24 PM   3 comments

Most of my life I have felt like I did not fit in. My thought process has always been different, to say the least. To this day I don’t always fit in. I think differently because I am different. Until recently I felt a little bothered by this. After all, everyone wants to be accepted. We all want to have friends and for people to think well of us.

It can be that way for almost every apostolic woman. We not only behave differently than the world but we also look different. Sometimes it can be hard to be different. The devil uses our minds to make us feel like being different is a bad thing. Those thoughts can make it difficult to be an effective witness or even be an encouragement to those in the church.

Let’s face it – even those that “look” the part don’t always “act” the part. I am here to tell you that you should not be discouraged by your thoughts. We are not to be like the world! We are not to dress like, think like, or act like the world. We are called to be modest, have pure thoughts, and behave in a godly fashion. It is time to quit letting the devil tell us that we cannot affect the world because we don’t fit in.

We aren’t supposed to fit in. Have you ever noticed that when you are out in a public place you don’t look at the average Joe or Jane? You always end up staring at the teenage boy with the Mohawk, wearing a skirt, and has his fingernails painted black. He is getting the attention because he is different. The attention we receive because of how obviously different we are needs to be used for God’s purpose.

We are not called to just look differently and turn our noses up at the unsaved. We are called to look differently and to go out and teach God’s word. What a better way to do it than to attract attention to ourselves because of the way we look! Starting today, make a pact with God. Make a pact that you will use your unique look to represent your unique God.


posted by -atomik kitten @ 5:27 PM   1 comments
05 July 2007
Oh the things I learn...
I just learned today by reading the campus paper that the university I work for has a frisbee team.


posted by -atomik kitten @ 1:13 PM   5 comments
Oh yeah...
And our family gained independence from direct dependence on water wings! Bry-onicle is now aqua-mobile. Squarepants is getting there and swims underwater very well. He can doggy paddle for about 15 seconds. Monkey Butt swims underwater like a fish and is learning to tread water. We let him stay in without water wings for about 10 minutes and then we make him put his back on so he can have fun.


posted by -atomik kitten @ 7:04 AM   0 comments
04 July 2007
4th of July
Getting ate up by mosquitoes was worth it when I heard, "This is better than cartoons..."

Even if it did feel like a cheesy moment from The Wonder Years. Some vehicle close by was blasting Wonder Wall.

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posted by -atomik kitten @ 10:31 PM   0 comments
03 July 2007
Parental Guidance Suggested
Free Online Dating

Because I said crap twice and the word suicide is mentioned once (though I don't recall where...) I'd like to see Slick do this one.

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posted by -atomik kitten @ 7:42 PM   2 comments
Best joke EVER
Okay I stole this from Becki's blog. You can find her if you click the button that says "Vote for Becki".

A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous woman sitting alone at the bar. He walks up to her and says, “Hi there, good lookin’. How’s it going?”

She turns around, looks him straight in the eye and says, “Save the small talk buddy, I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, dirty, clean…It doesn’t matter to me. I’ve been doing it ever since I got out of college and I just flat-ass love it.”

And he responded, eyes wide with interest…

“No kidding. I’m a lawyer too. What firm are you with?”


posted by -atomik kitten @ 7:29 PM   1 comments
Since when did Fred Thompson announce that he's running for office? Did I miss that? Realclearpolitics.com has him listed in the polls, but I don't remember him coming "out". They even have a support website listed.

Did I miss something?

While I'm on the subject of politics...that website also have an interesting blog entry about Hilary. Apparently one of the reasons why democrats do not want her in the office is because they think the country isn't ready for a woman president. I find that amusing since they are supposed to be liberal / equal rights. I think we're ready, speaking as a conservative. I just don't think we are ready for her.


posted by -atomik kitten @ 1:04 PM   2 comments
02 July 2007
Well what do you know...

A mullet is not only an unattractive hillbilly hair-do. It's also a fish!

Wow - the things I learn here at work.

If you get the chance, read "Life After School. Explained."


posted by -atomik kitten @ 1:28 PM   1 comments
01 July 2007
Communication Rules for Men
I thought that I would start performing a public service to benefit both men and women. Sure, I still do the Guidelines from time to time, but this is also something important. It's called "reading between the lines". Just because you men say something doesn't mean that is what we hear...so consider me your own personal advisor that you can't sue if I get you in to trouble.

Rule One: When in the sack never say to your woman, "I could be playing [insert MMORPG name here]."

Analysis: When you say something like that we don't hear what you mean: I love you so much that I am not online killing creatures that could never exist...instead, I am with you because I love you way more and you are way more fun than some half devil / half woman that slaps her butt and hits things with a whip to protect me.

What we hear is: You are second best. I am thinking of my game instead of being appreciative that I'm going to get laid.

Can you see why that is a problem, gentlemen?

Ladies, take a lesson from the Small Talk series (I think the guy's name is Gary Smalley or Gary Small or something). Tell your man how you are interpreting and give them a chance before you commit homicide - because most women just look fat in stripes.

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posted by -atomik kitten @ 12:28 PM   3 comments
About Me

Name: The Little Woman-atomik kitten
Home: Oklahoma, United States
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  • The Cop Magnet - my husband
  • Bry-onicle - my 9 year old son that loves Bionicle
  • Monkey Butt - my 7 year old son that loves adventure
  • Squarepants Star - my 9 year old step-son that loves Spongebob
  • Nana Beachy - my MIL
  • Big Baldy - my older brother
  • Dumb Dog - my very dumb turkish sheep dog (Anatolian Shepherd)
  • FC15 - my cat that weighs 15 pounds
  • Pup Dog - Boomer, our American Boxer
  • Unkey Monkey - my 19 y.o. brother in law
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  • Fatty McChuckles - USAF BIL, father of The Little Miss
  • Peg Leg - the wife of Fatty McChuckles and mom of The Little Miss
  • Grandpa - Grandpa Joe; my husband's grandfather
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