What a day this has been! Yes, I know I still haven't posted about my day with Fatty McChuckles. I'll get to it hopefully by this weekend.
Anyhoo, I went over to take my mom and her shack up honey on their monthly errands (well at least 1/3 of them... I have to go back tomorrow and Friday). All in all, that part wasn't too horrendous. I got paid for it, at least. Of course, I went to bed around 5 this AM and got up at 7 to get the boys ready for school. It was almost an hour drive to the city.
We went to the bank...uneventful.
We went to put gas in my car. The shack up honey was going to pump and my mother went in to pay. I sat out in the car for a good ten minutes. The pump still was not turned on so I went in to see what was up. The lady said, "Well, I'll turn it on when she pays." My mother said, "What the hell do you think I'm standing here for?" So the lady waves me out and says she'll turn it on. Five minutes and still no go juice for grocery getter. I go back in there and the woman is on the phone and she STILL hasn't paid enough attention to my mother to get the money to turn on the pump. I was hot by then. I was almost livid. I cleared my throat rather rudely and crossed my arms when she glanced my way. She finally rang up the gas and my mother's cancer sticks.
We went to Albertson's. Mostly uneventful except that they were stocking and they had a basket in the main aisle with some little wire hangers (like maybe something you would put candy in?) on the bottom of the cart - which you don't see until you walk into it and cut your leg. Praise God for denim skirts. We mosied back to the pharmacy for her to get her medication. I was in one of my moods at that point... I was in a trouble making mood. They had this rack of stuff like baby bottle nipples, thermometer covers, and finger cots. Do you know what a finger cot is? Essentially, you use them (as a parent) to cover your finger if you need to insert a suppository into your little one. Yes, it is a finger condom! I said it really loud too. I said, "Hey mom and shack up honey! Look! I found finger condoms!"
From there, we went back to Smoke Central. Then, I had to leave to take The Cop Magnet some lunch since I was in the city. Tried to use my FFB card and it didn't work so it is a good thing I had cash.
Then it was off to North VA Clinic...which mother said was on 122nd and Penn...and it wasn't. It was on 122nd and May. But we found it. The visit was uneventful for the shack up honey.
Then it was to the VA hospital to pick up the shack up honey's prescriptions. That, too, was fairly uneventful.
When I got home, Pup Dog made it somehow into my room while I was gone. He ate the baby pictures of Bry-onicle. Between the sleep deprivation, pounding headache, and anxiety I busted out into tears. I am glad the boys weren't here. I saved six out of 100 pictures. I am still mad but I do understand that he is just a puppy. He didn't mean to go in there and make a rational decision to eat pictures. I mean, come on, the dog eats toilet paper.
But I was still upset. I called The Cop Magnet, who for some reason, was having a moronic man moment and thought this was funny. I wonder how funny it would have been had Pup Dog ate some of his computer magazines. Of course, that made me more upset. That brought on a migraine.
My head has hurt on and off all week...since I started taking the Buspar as a matter of fact. But I'll get to that momentarily.
I took Monkey Butt and Bry-onicle for Happy Meals. First, we wait 15 minutes for our food...then we end up with My Little Pony toys when I specifically told them the meals were for little boys. They changed out the toys, I smiled and said thank you.
On the way home, Bry-onicle confided something unnerving to me. He told me he was being picked on in the lunch room. I thought it was the girls again. I just said, "Oh? By whom?" He said by three boys in another class that his class lunches with. I got one name and he told me that the boys are threatening to bring BB guns and use him as target practice. One threatened to hang him from a tree.
We are not about to sit around and put up with this crap. The Cop Magnet is going to the principal tomorrow (she and I don't have a good relationship). I am not about to wait for another Columbine or Amish school shooting. In this day, you don't know what to take seriously when little kids in other areas get caught with weapons. My child will NOT be a statistic.
I got a migraine a bit ago and was doubled over in the floor. The boys implemented Plan H(eadache). Bry-onicle grabbed the Ibuprofen and Monkey Butt grabbed me something to drink. Pup Dog commenced to trying to eat my hair (see, I told you he was stupid).
I called CVS and the pharmacist thinks the Buspar is causing my insomnia and headache. I am on 15 mg. I am supposed to take 1/2 the pill in the AM and 1/2 the pill in the PM. I couldn't sleep and the headaches started...migraines. So I started taking the entire pill in the AM. Guess what? I still can't sleep. The pharmacist suggested taking 4 Ibuprofens and calling the doc tomorrow to back off on the Buspar. It seems to help with the anxiety but I can't keep dealing with these migraines and not sleeping.
So as you can tell, Practical Chick is cranky, sad, angry, worried, and putting it all into God's hands. He can and will fix all of this.
Yall won't believe what I saw today at Albertson's. Organic junk food...I don't mean that Kashi crap (no offense to those that do like it but it isn't for our household, for sure). I saw (and have the picture to prove it) organic Chips Ahoy and Oreos.
I ask you: What is the point?! Don't you eat junk food to eat junk food?
Apparently it was fate that I ended up out of the legal world... For now I have a much more important role. Are you sure you can handle knowing what it is? Teaching The Little Miss to pee pee in the potty.
This head cold is kicking my butt...oh and look forward to reading later about my day with Fatty McChuckles. For now you'll have to be satisfied with knowing that Associated Content has now paid me three times for three different articles. You can go here to see my profile and here if you want to sign up (free).
The NFL announced today that for financial reasons they had to eliminate one team from the league.
So they've decided to combine the Green Bay Packers and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and form one team, causing many layoffs but saving millions of dollars in costs, they will be known as the..........
TAMPACKS.
Unfortunately, they're only good for one period and have no second string...
I hate insomnia...and do you know what makes insomnia worse? When you have a head cold!!
Needless to say, after the whole electricity misadventure here at WT Central (White Trash Central AKA my trailer) I had an epiphany...okay, so some of you are going to say, "Well duh, stupid!" But hey - sometimes I be slow.
Okay so Poppy came over to help The Cop Magnet with the whole electricity issues. It turns out that where the fridge was plugged in was piggy backed from where the microwave is plugged in which is piggy backed from where the stove and dishwasher draw their juice, which was piggy backed SOME freakin' how to a socket outside...which was piggy backed to a bathroom socket that never worked. Confused yet?
Yeah, me too. My kitchen was in more of a disarray than usual after those two got finished. The good news is that I no longer have an extension cord going from one end of the kitchen to another.
I've decided to redecorate WT Central. The bathroom will be a nice shade known as blue pond. It will match the shower curtain I already have. I am seriously toying with the idea of getting a stencil and putting dragon flies on the wall. With the new light The Cop Magnet installed in there today, you can now see how dirty the garden tub truly is (thanks to Pup Dog). Looks like I need to clean it more than 2x a week. Of course, the old tile would have to come up (it's just that laminate dollar store stuff, anyway).
The kitchen currently has this disgustingly ugly border of fruit that the last owner put up. The good news is that she only used tape to stick it up there. If I have enough Coca Cola border, I'll use that...other wise I was thinking more along the lines of a red checkered country kitchen look. I even contemplated making a sign that says White Trash Cafe. The person that painted the cabinet doors did a crappy job. Apparently they didn't prime it first...you can still see hints of ugly brown wood under the white paint. The handles have to go, too.
The good news is, though, that I put most of my kitchen back together and even rearranged a few things, and made the boys' lunches for school.
When they wake up, I'll do the dishes. Poppy is making a shelf for me to put all of my cookbooks on. I had the bar area all cleaned off too...and the kitchen table...but not now.
1 yellow cake mix 3/4 c oil 4 eggs 1 c brown sugar 1 T cinnamon
Icing:
2 c powdered sugar 4 T milk 1 T vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 325. Mix cake mix, oil, and eggs together. Pour half the batter into a round pan. You may wanna grease yer pan first. Combine brown sugar and cinnamon. Sprinkle over the batter. Spoon in rest of batter to cover brown sugar and cinnamon. Swirl cake with a butter knife. Bake for about 40 minutes (sometimes longer depending on how good yer oven heats...make sure and put some foil over the rack or use a big pan - cause sometimes this cake likes to grow) until done.
Whisk icing ingredients into smooth. Drizzle over hot cake.
I was tagged by Dari Donovan to participate. This is a subject near and dear to my heart for a couple of reasons. One reason being that I have young children of my own. The second being that all children deserve to be protected online and off.
A Request to ALL Webmasters of Adult Sites:
Truth be told, I don't respect your business...however in this country we do have a little thing called freedom of speech. With that said: Stop offering things via email. Any smart kid can figure out what date of birth would make him or her 18. Kids are corrupted easily enough as it is...they don't need any help. Don't offer "teen pics". While I understand that these "teens" probably are not actually teens, you are just fueling the fire for perverts to go out and attack some little kid.
Advice to Parents:
1. Put your computer in a central location. You should be able to see over your kid's shoulder at any given time.
2. If your kid changes the screen the minute you walk into the room, change it back. If you don't know how, hire yourself a computer savvy young adult to teach you how.
3. Learn to "read" the cookies and temporary internet files to figure out where your kid is going if / when you aren't home.
4. Get a good filter.
5. Remember that in this day you don't have to worry about the child predator lurking behind the bush at the playground - you have to worry about him / her lurking on message boards or chat pretending to be a 13 year old kid.
6. Still doesn't work? Scare the pee pee out of them. Find the story on Christina (can't think of her last name)..the young, pretty cheerleader who was 13 or 14 and was supposed to be meeting a boy her own age. He ended up being a grown man that choked her to death and threw her in a creek.
I am tagging (not 20 because I think that's excessive): Mert, Mix, & Melissa.
It is sad when you PMS without the proper female reproductive organs...did you hear the wind whistle through my ears as this conversation went totally over my head with my good friend Sis. G?
Me: great. i can't take nonverbal communication next semester. it is only 2 credits. i need five. so now i am stuck taking something i hate.
Sis. G.: I can't even pronounce it.
Me: yes i am whiny. i am PMSing without the proper female body parts.
Sis. G.: aww
Me: pronounce what [taking] social problems.
Sis. G.: the class you cant take lol
Me: trust me, they don't want my views on immigration
Sis. G.: oh my bad
Me:
Sis. G.: nonverbal. I thought you said something else, and I made a pun.
Me: i get it now!! that's pretty funny.
Yeah, I'm having an incredibly "blonde" night and I'm not even blonde.
mix drink monkey butt what to do when an abscess ruptures dental child neglect beat starve abandon midget strippers my cat keeps coughing hard vomit puke 85 Miss Fatty Oklahoma homemade deicer "mckinney north high school" + cheerleaders + pics camoflauge paneling loratab 7.5 i am sooooo bored rednek pictures
Technorati:
Britney Spears
It's kinda scary to read Britney Spears, Loratab, mixed drinks, and puking in the same post, isn't it? Okay, and camo paneling too because she is just as white trash as the rest of us southerners. Maybe it is because we have to take it to put up with her (when really we don't have to put up with her)..between her ex-husband and her "adoring" public...that's probably the reason why she needs rehab. Pull it together girl (even though you have no real talent and your mama groomed you for this your whole life)! You're a mother now and that is the most important job on the face of this planet. Screw the comeback. Screw your ex. Screw your public. Start focusing on your sons. Unless, of course, you want to be the next live trial on CourtTv. Abuse. Suicide (what to do with the body). Neglect. All things unsavory in parenthood.
Don't get me wrong - a little bit of unsavory probably keeps us sane. When the unsavory starts to affect your children, you got a problem. A big one.
I had to run to the grocery store tonight to get the rest of the things needed to make tacos...and to get The Cop Magnet some liquid crack (AKA Mountain Dew). I took Monkey Butt with me. When we were at the register, the sacker put the stuff in sacks (imagine that) and put the stuff back into the basket. He said, "Do you want help out with this ma'am?" I used my standard line...
"That's what I had kids for..."
And yes, Monkey Butt pushed the cart out to the car.
The look on that sacker's face was priceless. You could tell he was new - because the other sackers (and cashiers) know that if I have a kid with me, I do not want help. My children are learning to be responsible helpers.
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Ft. Worth, Texas. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas deputy's expense.
The deputy says," License and registration, please."
"What for?" says the lawyer.
The deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."
Then the lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
"You still didn't come to a complete stop," says the deputy. "License and registration, please."
The lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
"The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!" the Deputy says.
Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."
"That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir," the deputy says.
At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the lawyer and says, "Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?"
1. The Cop Magnet has the flu. Make him feel better - go register at his website...it's free.
2. My bathroom was spotless..then Pup Dog took care of that "problem" by eating an entire roll of toilet paper.
3. The doc put me on Buspar for anxiety (in addition to the Lexapro and the Restoril for insomnia). I've never felt so thirsty...well okay maybe one other time when I took one of those 24 hour Sudafeds and ended up with water intoxication.
4. I am kind of enjoying being "unemployed" (you know if you don't count homemaking - which I do..).
5. It is really hard to see FC-22 in the dark. He is black and gray...and therefore, makes a most excellent tripping device.
6. Monkey Butt started soccer this week. His first game is Saturday and we have a big chance of rain.
7. The Cop Magnet made up for buying me a muffler for Valentine's Day. He bought me Printshop Deluxe 22. It won't run on the lap top because I have a 64 bit processor. I can't get it to print using his computer.
8. Either way, it is still a very fun program to play with!!
9. I can't wait for church tomorrow night. I've been so re-energized now that I am not teaching Sunday School. I didn't mind doing it, but that is not what God wants me to do.
10. They have weird crap on TV at night.
11. Did I mention that I have the best sons on the face of this earth?
12. I am expecting God to move in a mighty way to enable me to not have to go back into the workforce.
13. In that respect, I wouldn't mind opening my own business. The VA thing never really took off. I have a couple of other things in mind, though....aside from writing, of course.
Yeah, I know it is my own fault for not coding HTML manually for a very long time. I'll admit it - now that the stigma has worn off about people that use a WYSIWYG editor, I got lazy and started using one too. There's just one tiny problem. It isn't coming out right....and because it has been years and I don't have DreamWeaver installed anymore (and because NetObjects can be a royal pain in the.....neck) I don't know how to fix it.
I used a template and it looked fine in Printshop Deluxe. I converted it to HTML, but everything is on the left instead of centered like it was in Printshop. It really ticks me off...because the parts that look like a table is not a table. It's an image. It is also using codes that I don't remember anymore. When I change the lefts to centers, it all jumbles up on top of each other.
"Honk, honk" says the Monkey Butt in the middle of the night when he is coughing.
He woke me up at 2 because he couldn't breathe. He sounded like a goose. Gave him a Luden's throat drop after he used his inhaler. I ended up propping him up on four pillows so he could sleep kind of upright.
This morning he was still honking, but he sounded more like a gosling than a full grown goose. He said he felt good so I went on and sent him to school. He should be at lunch right about now and I haven't heard from the school...so he must be doing okay.
The weather here is so crazy. Last week we had snow and below freezing temps. This week it's been in the 60s. Last night, it got really cold again. I think that's what messed him up.
It is times like this where I am actually glad I am an insomniac.
The Cop Magnet is home with a really bad sinus infection.
87. You shall not have sex in front of your minor child.
Sure, all parents have (or will have) had the experience of a small child walking in on them during sex. It's happened to us...but the covers were pulled up, the kid didn't see anything, no harm and no foul. Yet for some reason I must remind the masses that this is something you do NOT set out to do.
If you're eight or nine year old has questions about sex, you can discuss it with them (I guess - although I think it is a little young). They don't need a demonstration.
These people should be locked up forever and throw away the key. As far as I am concerned this is just as bad as molesting a child.
Hermit crabs, that is!! We had a hermit crab back in 2001 that I caught in Biloxi and brought home. He lived for...oh gosh, about two years. He died when I gave him to Unkey Monkey. We had another one when we lived on the Air Force base - but without the proper time to devote to it, we gave it away too.
Yesterday we bought two fancy hermit crabs. What's the difference between a regular hermit crab and a fancy hermit crab? About four dollars and a painted shell. Monkey Butt's crab has a football shell. Bry-onicle's first crab had a baseball shell.
This morning we got up and I realized that while Monkey Butt's crab had moved around, Bry-onicle's had not. I didn't think a whole lot about it because they are nocturnal creatures. Yet all day...that crab never moved..never poked his head out of the shell or anything.
About the time the boys got in from school, I took my little zip tie and poked at him. No noise, no movement. I grabbed the shell and flipped him over. He should have came out...no movement. I poked at his claw and he never even tried to pinch me.
Yes, that's right. Bry-onicle's crab went to that big beach in the sky. So I took it back to Petsmart and they wanted to argue with me that the crab wasn't dead...only sleeping. I was also told that I should have picked a "more active crab". Uhh...it was daytime when I bought it and considering they are nocturnal and none of them were exactly active.
She never could get the crab to move either. She swears that when she put her pen in the shell it pinched it, but I think she just shoved it in there. She even had the gall to put that one back in with the other crabs and ask me if I wanted my money back.
NO. My kid wants a crab! So we found another one after I poked on them to get all of them mad. The other one was active yesterday when I got him.
This new one is crawling around every where now in his gorgeous new home. I'll try to get a picture of it for you all tomorrow.
My best friend was talking today about remodeling her house. They redid the bathroom that the kids use. I was talking to The Cop Magnet last week about wanting to paint and remodel the trailer a little. It is already nice on the inside, but it could be better. It will feel better to me when it has a touch of me.
I already know what color I am going to do my bathroom. I found a color at Sprawl-Mart called Blue Pool. I like that color - it goes well with my shower curtain (it has pastel blues, greens, and purples...and dragonflies). Right now, I have vanity lighting which I hate for a couple of reasons. One, the bulbs burn out often. Two, half the bathroom is still dark. So I decided to start looking at lights.
Here are links to some things I am considering. Let me know what you think.
I was thinking about getting something similar to these small lights to go on the side of the bathroom that is dark:
I really like the etched glass...and I think $54 is a pretty good price!!
To replace the vanity lights I am thinking of going with something like this:
I think that's pretty nice! Of course, then I would have to do the silver version of the other light instead of the bronze. It's about $100, but they offer free shipping. I like free!! Who doesn't, though?
They have more, though. I am still going through the links but I am pretty impressed. They also have an ebay store.
Okay, so I didn't go to bed until after two in the morning and I got up at seven. I took the boys to school while The Cop Magnet slept. Then I woke him up after I took a shower (about 8:30 or 9:00).
We went out to Chili's for lunch. They have really good baked potato soup. Then we went to Petsmart with the intention of just buying two harnesses. I ended up with: two harnesses, a dog whistle, a connector to put two dogs on one leash, two hermit crabs, and a hermit crab starter kit. It was cheaper than buying the little things individually. We just use an old hamster cage.
We went to Sprawl-Mart and The Cop Magnet found a beta fish he just had to have. So now the pet population is up to: two dogs, two cats, two hermit crabs, and a fish.
Did I mention that the last time we had a beta that FC-22 ate him?
Well, I'm hungry...going to warm up the rest of my burger. Then I have to right a two page paper on the different types of alimony.
Oh and Monkey Butt had soccer practice today. I'll post pics later.
Saturday night Unkey Monkey came over and ask to borrow my car to go the movies. The Cop Magnet and the rest of my all-male crew had went to the movies already. He said he needed my car because the brake lights are out on his truck. I decide that's fine because if he wrecks it, that's one less car payment because he has full coverage and so do I!
Yesterday I decided to clean out my car...the weather here's been ugly forever (it seems) and it was quite pretty out.
My car smelled.
It smelled like cheap cologne. You know, like Axe. My darling Unkey Monkey apparently decided to bathe himself in it. So now I must lay down some rules for my special little brother in law when it comes to using the grocery getter.
1. If you run my car out of gas, you must put gas back into it. 2. You must quit bathing yourself in cheap cologne. Do not make me get the Febreze after you! 3. Whatever you leave in my car (with the exception of used condoms) I get to keep...be it money or your watch. 4. No sex in my car. That is subject to the penalty of a long and drawn out, torturous death. 5. Vacuum out my car. You go out there to the boon docks with your little redneck friend - you need to vacuum out the rocks from my floor board.
So The Cop Magnet and I have been married for six years (seven in November) but we've been together for 12. When we first got engaged in March 2000 (right after we found out that we were expecting the arrival of Monkey Butt), we bought a very cheap set of wedding rings off of ebay. Considering the quality (1/4 carat diamond, small gold bands) and the fact we got the whole set for $70...we got a good deal.
Over the past three or four years I've quit wearing them (mostly because of the swelling in my fingers). The Cop Magnet has discussed getting a new set for me.
Anyway, during my late night web adventures (yall know how the insomnia can be) I came across a great site called Diamonds USA.
Possibly my favorite thing about the site is that you can sort the rings by style (setting) and by price. The prices seem very reasonable and they offer free shipping. They also have a cool search feature at the bottom that allows you to insert your jewelry budget and specify what kind of cut you want.
Personally I am a fan of princess cut diamonds. I like platinum, but I have a white gold budget. Here is one that I really like. They have a wish list, too.
All in all I think that Diamonds-USA is a great site for buying engagement rings. The prices are reasonable and they do the hacker safe testing daily.
You know, The Cop Magnet used to spend hours playing things like SWG and WoW. For a while, I was even considered a WoW Widow. At least, though, he was actually playing the game and not doing dumb crap like this...okay, maybe it isn't really dumb. Maybe I'm jealous because I could never do that.
I tried to embed it but it wouldn't work...you'll have to go here.
Or stupid me...I guess that just depends on who you ask!
I made some pancake batter from scratch and I think that since I made waffles that I might have put a little much baking powder in it.
Once the waffle iron heated up, I added a good 1/4 cup (and then some) to each side of the iron. Not only did the waffles raise, they opened the lid and spilled on to the stove top. I almost took a picture of it...but I wanted to be able to live it down.
2 cans Campbell's Chunky Stew or Chicken Gumbo 2 frozen 8" pie shells 1 spritz of cooking spray
Preheat oven to 350. Place one frozen pie shell on top of cookie sheet. Pour the two cans of Campbell's Chunky in to the pie shell.
Carefully remove the remaining pie shell out of the aluminum pan and place on top. Sealing sides with fork. Spritz a bit of flavored cooking spray. (I use Pam Butter flavored) on top to encourage browning. Bake for 45 minutes. Serves 6.
Total Cost: $4.57 approximately .76 cents per person. Prep Time: 5 minutes
First, why is this considered news? Don't we have better things to discuss as a society besides whether or not some woman shaves her head? Why is this higher on the list at Fox News than the American soldier that got 8 years for killing an Iraqi? She looks better than Sinead O'Connor, at least (and the Pope aint mad at her!).
Second, I'll take the tacky route...I'll say she shaved it so that when she pukes from partying, she won't need anyone to hold her hair!! I bet that's one job no one wanted - no matter what it paid. Talk about a lackey...
Third, the real reason she probably cut it off is because she was blonde. Now, this isn't to say that blondes are so dumb they don't know when to quit cutting. Rather, she dyed her hair black for goodness sake. She either (a) came to her senses or (b) damaged her hair so badly that it was falling out anyway.
What's the first thing you think of when you hear the term (or in this case read the term) third world children? Don't you think of the starving little child with a distended belly? While I realize that those probably aren't the only kind of children considered to be from a third world country, I can't help but wonder why a computer with a rip cord places more precedence over say, I don't know....a cure for cancer or a hospital to treat dysentery...or maybe some lessons in agriculture - or people to study agricultural development... I could keep going on things that third world children need besides a computer.
Yesterday Unkey Monkey drove me over to Best Buy. I was letting him drive because he needed the practice before taking his driver's test. I bought Print Shop Deluxe version 22. I got it home. I installed it. I got an error message. Of course, I don't know crap about computer problems. So I had to wait for The Cop Magnet...which was interesting in itself because he's been working overtime.
It works fine on his computer...but of course his computer only has a 32 bit processor. That, of course, ended up being the missing link. My lap top has a 64 bit processor, but I don't run Windows XP 64. So the program is installed on The Cop Magnet's computer and runs pretty good. He will have to back up everything on my lap top before trying to install the Windows for 64 bit processors. Hopefully I don't lose anything.
Unkey Monkey and his buddy apparently seem to be under the misguided notion that they are using my car tonight. I haven't decided yet. He's pretty inexperienced and it IS dark out.
Then again...my whole house is quiet. The Cop Magnet took the boys to see Ghost Rider. I don't plan on going anywhere. I have a chat log to read and summarize for family law. It just dawned on me earlier that I missed the class. I totally forgot about it.
Well, this isn't exactly the book we read tonight. We read Good Knight, Duke. It is about being kind. When we read it, it kind of convicted me with the advice I gave Bry-onicle about dishing it back to the bullies on the bus.
Yet, I must admit...today when Bry-onicle brought it up, he said that two of the girls have backed off of him and because of that, he is being nice to them now. So it isn't like he is holding a grudge. He's just sticking up for himself, right?
Monkey Butt: Ahhh!! Me: What? MB: That was the sharpest toot I ever had!! Me: Really? MB: Yeah, it felt like a needle when it came out. You should have smelled it. Me: No thanks, I'm good.
The Cop Magnet and I tried to watch it. We really, really did. Lots of action, blood, guts, and shooting. That was all good, but it was a little to artsy for our taste. Even The Cop Magnet agreed that one Quentin Tarantino is all the world needs...we don't need any impostors. I guess they say that imitation is the finest form of flattery.
I will tell you this: you won't expect the ending...and you'll have a hard time buying Van Wilder as a detective (even though he did a wonderful job).
86. You shall not buy your wife a muffler for Valentine's Day.
While I can think of two instances where a muffler would be appropriate...if your chick is a car buff or if your chick's ride is in desperate need of a new muffler, the average chick (and including the Practical Chick) does not want a muffler.
The Cop Magnet's reasoning was that since he bought me a box of truffles, a jacket, and a pair of gloves last month he already "paid" for Valentine's Day. I had to remind him that is not how the "pay it forward rule" works in our relationship. The "pay it forward rule" works so that I do not kill him when he does something completely insane (like when he bought a $190 car part....for a car that did not need the part...I didn't kill him - he merely received the silent treatment).
To add to this, while I was in the shower he came into the bathroom and said, "I measured it. It's a perfect fit." Hopefully he's talking about his casket...cause he just might need one.
Right now, I'm unemployed. The flesh part of me would love to sit here and worry about how the ends are going to be met, where will the groceries come from, the gas bill, the light bill, the lot rent, payment on Monkey Butt's medical bill, etc, etc...I could go on but all yall know what I'm talking about: the bills that are a part of life.
Yet I know without a shadow of a doubt (because there is no darkness in God) that He will work things out. My family has groceries now (matter of fact, we have so much I can hardly shut my cabinets). The bills are paid...and guess what? I have my second interview tomorrow. The place I have an interview with has flexible hours. Meaning I can go in as early as 6:30 AM and be off in time for the boys to trot off the school bus....meaning if one or both of my sons are sick, I can find someone to take them by one and go in and still get my eight hours. There are production bonuses involved too...all because of my insanely quick little fingers that GOD blessed me with!
Speaking of the groceries, I don't know if I blogged it or not but last summer this family of at least five (I counted seven at one time - but you never know...maybe it was company) lived two trailers down from us in a fifth wheel. Monkey Butt used to play with one of the little girls. She was on my porch crying one day when I came in from work because their fifth wheel did not have a locking door. Apparently while their parents were out, someone went in and took what little bit of food they had. Now, I didn't care much for the parents either. The mom worked...but the dad was just a bum. He claimed disability but yet he would be out here playing some serious one on one with the teenagers.
I brought her in the house with me and got out a Sprawl-Mart bag. I gave them the last bit of meat we had in the house (chicken), some bread, and some canned goods and told her to take them down to her mama. I didn't expect a thank you but I was a little insulted when the parents never even so much as waved at me...but praise God, the little girl quit crying and she and her brother and sisters did not go to bed hungry that night. Later that evening, my immediate neighbor came over because her husband had surgery about two months earlier on his knees and was on worker's comp. That wasn't paying the bills. They were out of groceries. So I gave her all the potatoes I had and cleaned out my cupboard. She was grateful and that made me feel good...not because I wanted to be someone's hero but because it makes me feel good to help people - especially when they appreciate it.
I'll admit it, though, when some local charity gave the fifth wheel family $20,000 I was envious. I mean, I am glad they got the money and could get a better place to live...but The Cop Magnet and I work our butts off to provide for our kids. He was even a little frustrated with me for giving the fifth wheel family groceries but understood why I did it. I grew up as that kind of kid...the kid that went to bed hungry and it kills me to think of any kid I know in my vicinity might be hungry.
I questioned God. Why? Why are we struggling and yet I give to the point that I will go hungry (but not my children) for someone else? Yet here I sit unemployed..with more groceries than I know what to do with.
My God is so good. He is an on time God. I was blessed (make that I am blessed).
You see, faith isn't just about putting your belief in God. It's about doing something. The Bible states that faith without works is dead. I don't want dead faith. I went out on faith. God repaid me just like the Bible says...give and it shall be given back to you, pressed down, shaken up, and over flowing.
Psalm 111:5 - He hath given meat unto them that fear him: he will ever be mindful of his covenant.
Especially when a bunch of girls on your school bus call you weird.....
So needless to say, Bry-onicle was steaming mad when he got off the bus. At first all I got out of him was that some kids say he is weird and that he is lame because he doesn't read some "cool kids" manual. I asked him, "If they're so cool...why do they need a book to tell them how to behave?" I explained to him how people like that are just sheep. They have to follow what everyone else does...they can't think for themselves. He said, "Yeah, that's what I told them."
Apparently they think he is weird and lame because he is eight years old and like Transformers....and doesn't wear camoflauge. Did you know that apparently camoflauge is the new black? I told him that figures...that camoflauge is the cool color in such a small town full of rednecks. There isn't anything wrong with being rednecks, per se, but when you can't teach your kids to be nice to others....
Once we got home I told him I was proud of him for using his words (he told them that they were lame for not thinking for themselves and needing a book to tell him how to behave). I told him that I ought to teach him a bunch of big words to call them that way they have to go home and ask their mama what it means...then when they are mad the next day he can say, "You might be cool, but you are pretty stupid. At least my vocabulary isn't limited to one syllable words."
That was, of course, until he told me it was girls giving him a hard time. I said, "Oh that's easy to solve then. Just tell them their clothes make them look fat. That will work for the next couple of years...but don't try that in high school - you might get slapped." Apparently there was one girl on the bus that stuck up for him, though.
The funny thing is that here in 20 years when he writes a best selling sci-fi book, they will be saying how they went to school with him...
He was feeling better after venting (and having a snack with some milk) and said, "There ought to be a mom appreciation day." To which I replied, "You can appreciate me when I'm 92 and incontinent and need my diaper changed."
"Mom? Do old people really wear diapers?"
"Guess that's just something you'll find out one day."
So ever since we bought this place, the boys' room has just been plain cold...doesn't matter what time of year it is.
Me and Monkey Butt were sitting in his room (with the door open) playing Tony Hawk and I was sitting right by that wall...and I could feel the cold air. So The Cop Magnet decided to pull off the paneling and fill it with that foaming insulation that you can get at Sprawl Mart. The stuff expands. It took three cans (and a bit of butt scratching with the hammer), but their room is now warm!
And yes, their windows are blacked out. It helps with the AC bill during the summer because of the end of the house they are on.
Okay, so we decided to finally break down and go to Sprawl-Mart to get some groceries. The trip was relatively normal until we got to the check out line...
We happened to be at the register that had the perfect view of Customer Service. I was just chattin' it up with the cashier (I always try to be very nice to them...retail can suck). Lo and behold Bry-onicle points across to Customer Service and yells, "Look Mama!! She's got a tramp stamp and I can see it!!"
This woman had the "tramp stamp". You know, the tattoo right there at the low back...she had on this skin tight shirt with rips in the top of it, black hair, and low rider jeans...so we not only saw the tramp stamp, but her crack too.
She turned around and just looked at us (glared, rather)...to which I sort of off handedly (and rather loudly) said, "Son, some women want attention even when they say they don't...and they go about trying to get it by showing too much skin. It's the ideal feminist trap. They want to dress in a way they consider sexy but Lord forbid anyone look. You'll learn all about double standards as you grow up. And there's your shining example."
Another one of my favorites...Monkey Butt was about nine months old in this picture. Bry-onicle was into fire fighters.
This was right after Monkey Butt came home from the hospital.
Here is Monkey Butt wearing Grandpa Joe's hat when he was about a year old.
This is Monkey Butt during our "broke" Christmas. I spent all night crocheting his airplane so he would have something to open that year. The Air Force did not pay well.
My Monkey Butt loves to play basket ball! He's actually pretty good. He was about 2 1/2 in this picture.
This was Monkey Butt at his third birthday party.
Monkey Butt loved his baby doll!
This was Monkey Butt when he was a year old. Aint he cute?
I am glad the boys weren't here. I saved six out of 100 pictures. I am still mad but I do understand that he is just a puppy. He didn't mean to go in there and make a rational decision to eat pictures. I mean, come on, the dog eats toilet paper.
it is only 2 credits. i need five. so now i am stuck taking something i hate.
Don't we have better things to discuss as a society besides whether or not some woman shaves her head? Why is this higher on the list at Fox News than the American soldier that got 8 years for killing an Iraqi? She looks better than Sinead O'Connor, at least (and the Pope aint mad at her!).
