Saturday night Unkey Monkey came over and ask to borrow my car to go the movies. The Cop Magnet and the rest of my all-male crew had went to the movies already. He said he needed my car because the brake lights are out on his truck. I decide that's fine because if he wrecks it, that's one less car payment because he has full coverage and so do I!
Yesterday I decided to clean out my car...the weather here's been ugly forever (it seems) and it was quite pretty out.
My car smelled. 
It smelled like cheap cologne. You know, like Axe. My darling Unkey Monkey apparently decided to bathe himself in it. So now I must lay down some rules for my special little brother in law when it comes to using the grocery getter.
1. If you run my car out of gas, you must put gas back into it.
2. You must quit bathing yourself in cheap cologne. Do not make me get the Febreze after you!
3. Whatever you leave in my car (with the exception of used condoms) I get to keep...be it money or your watch.
4. No sex in my car. That is subject to the penalty of a long and drawn out, torturous death.
5. Vacuum out my car. You go out there to the boon docks with your little redneck friend - you need to vacuum out the rocks from my floor board.Labels: family misadventures, rant |
Ewwww cheap cologne.....ewwww