29 September 2006
Guidelines 61 - 63
61. You shall not order a hit on your own grandchildren.

Do I even have to say how wrong that is? Especially considering that the grandparents that ordered the hit did it because their son (the dad) was in jail on rape charges against his own daughters. They wanted the wife killed too... I know that in law rivalry can be harsh but my word, this is just...stupid. Oh, did I mention that they wanted to off the dog too?!

62. You shall not conduct stupid studies.

I mean, really, do we need a group of scientists or researchers to tell us that more children are backed over by SUVs and trucks than by sedans? I'm no rocket scientist and I don't play one on TV either but even I can figure that out. Could it be because it is a lot harder to see the head of a five year old through a back windshield of a surburban when he is chasing a ball that happened to get behind the vehicle than it is to see the same kid run behind the back of a Taurus?

63. You shall not drink a soda that has a broken seal.

Note that I am not writing this about the idiot the urinated in the bottle. We all know he's stupid. Hasn't your mama taught you not to drink things that the seal is already broken on? Could he not tell? When you don't get the usual hiss out of the bottle when you open it, you don't drink it. It is kind of like checking the due date on the milk before you buy it.

posted by -atomik kitten @ 9:50 AM  
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Name: The Little Woman-atomik kitten
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