29 September 2006
Guidelines 31-35
31. You shall not fall asleep while stealing gas.

I know gas is expensive. I don't like paying $3.00 per gallon any more than anyone else. I don't steal gas. If I did, I would be smart enough to stay awake!

Crime doesn't pay...and in this case, it doesn't save money either!

32. You shall not try to bomb the OU Memorial Stadium.

Because God will surely smite thee. I don't care what the media says. The kid was using TAPT and tried to get 36% AN fertilizer. He had a ticket to the game and security stopped him. His intention WAS to hurt someone else. My guess is that when he sat down, the TAPT went off (that stuff can go off if you drop it - it is that flammable), and he was blown into dime size pieces.

I might update this post later. I'm busy.

33. You shall not let your eyes become larger than your stomach.

Because this could happen to you..

34. You shall not attempt suicide in front of your students.

Especially when they are third graders. And people wonder why some people hate this country. You know this woman is going to walk in some form. See, had she molested my son she wouldn't have needed to try and commit suicide in front of her class. I would have killed her with my bare hands.

35. You shall not call in a bomb threat in an effort to spend quality time with your significant other.

Call in and take the day off. Do you not think that they wouldn't hunt you down? They say love is blind - in this case it's relationship suicide. I hope her boyfriend had the sense to leave her. I hope she realizes that now she won't have a boyfriend. She's going to be someone's cell bi....mate.

Example of Natural Stupidity

Imagine this: you are a second grade teacher. Today is show and tell day. Little Johnny has something to show you. It's green, leafy, and he got if from his idiotic uncle.
posted by -atomik kitten @ 9:17 AM  
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