47. You shall remember that peeing outside is NOT performance art.
In America we have this lovely little thing called the Constitution. This story will make you even happier that we have it. At least here your rights are (mostly) protected. If someone's so called right infringes upon your right, they (hopefully) lose that right. I'll be the first to admit that my boys have peed outside before. However they've never done it in front of people (okay, I am not ENTIRELY sure about that cause there was the one time when DS3 came in from outside naked from the waste down when we lived on the Air Force base...he was about 2). I know that art is in the eye of the beholder but I don't know a single soul that considers a golden shower must see TV. Kind of makes you glad you don't live in Denmark, huh?
48. You shall not attempt to scare away someone's hiccups by brandishing a loaded fire arm.
Okay - there are so many reasons why this is just stupid. I'll stick with the obvious one: the gun was loaded. So now instead of scaring someone, your finger slipped and you shot them.
49. You shall not leave your three young children home alone to attend a taping of Jerry Springer.
Is Jerry Springer worth going to jail over? I sure wouldn't put my children in danger (or myself) in jail to go see him. I am just going to link the article name to the article because it is, indeed, priceless. Next on Springer: Mom Goes to Jail. Let me tell you, some of these people make me feel pretty normal.
50. You shall not complain that a crossing guard waves.
If you are distracted by an old lady waving at traffic when she isn't helping little kids cross the street, you have issues. I don't know if perhaps you are attracted to little old ladies or if you are just jealous that you can't be a crossing guard....perhaps you are just MEAN. Either way, YOU suck!
51. You shall not sell your church to buy a BMW.
If you have the gall to even consider selling your church to buy a vehicle, perhaps you are in the wrong profession. Maybe law school would be right up your alley instead. I am offended by this for two main reasons (I am sure I could think of more if I wanted to).
I am a God fearing woman. You don't sell God's house to buy a material possession. Sure, I know you probably need a vehicle but you don't need a BMW. Don't live better than the people in your church. There is a special place in hell for you, I'm sure.
His name is Randall. He just sullied a perfectly good name. My husband has that name and so does his father. I think this man ought to be required to change his name to something really stupid...like...Zerbert or, hey, legally change his name to Moron!
