24 September 2006
Guidelines 20 - 26.
20. You shall not be intimidated by small children "stealing" your business.

Kids' Lemonade Stand Closed

Can you believe this? This is America and small children should not need a permit to sell lemon-aid. If you want to make yourself look good, make sure your customers see you outside encouraging and purchasing a cold drink from those little boys - it might cut down on all the nasty looks..

21. You shall not padlock your testicles.

Okay - I have some close friends. I have some that I would trust to almost any extent. I don't drink. I used to drink heavily when I was about 18. Do you know what stopped me? Doing something stupid. Apparently a "friend" convinced me that I would look good with black hair. I woke up with black hair (and I don't remember dying my hair). You know that if he got drunk enough to let his friend put a padlock on his twins, then he has been drunk enough in the past to do something stupid (maybe not as stupid as this) enough to convince him that either (a) he needs new friends or (b) he needs to quit boozing it up.

Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock

22. You shall not make a porno if you are famous and NOT a porn star.

Don't expect it to remain private either. Do you know what I find so funny about this Colin Farrell incident? He is probably seeking the restraining order because he is embarassed that he could only last fifteen minutes!

23. You shall not sleep on the train tracks.

I haven't gotten the actual story that this person DID fall asleep on the tracks but so far that is the story. The town just north of me (Norman) has most of it split in to two sides because of the railroad tracks. You couldn't get on one side from the other. Someone was hit by a train and the police think the person got drunk and went to sleep on the tracks.

24. You shall not return to the scene of the crime.

I am saddened and relieved that they found the Figeroua girl's body. (Sorry but I don't remember her first name.) I couldn't help but roll my eyes when I found out HOW they found the body and the fact that the cops said they might not have ever found her body if...............the unborn baby's father wouldn't have went BACK to the body. Duh! Hello! If they can't pin anything on you, don't go back to the body. Murder is certainly wrong but you have to have more respect for an intelligent killer than a moron.

25. You shall not sue your doctor for speaking the truth.

Obesity leads to many, many health problems. It can KILL. If you wanted to be left in the dark, don't go to the doctor. I wonder if I can sue the USAF doctors for telling me the truth two years ago about having Lupus...

26. You shall do your homework, Mr. Policeman.

It's been said that everyone in this world has a twin. I've found my spiritual twin and apparently there are LOTS of people in this world that look like me (or I like them). Today, as a matter of fact, in the grocery store I walked by an older gentleman who reached out and grabbed my arm (not rough) and said, "Jennifer, honey, is that you?" He thought I was his daughter; he hasn't seen her in over ten years. I felt really bad for him. He looked so sad when I told him no. I was thinking, "There are fathers that care for their daughters?" Anyhoo, I am beginning to digress. So this couple gets pulled over. Their kids are doubled up in seat belts. The officer runs dad's DL and it comes back as revoked due to failure to pay a parking ticket. That, in the end, is a computer error. The officer tells the mother (who was nursing a baby) to drive instead. Now for some reason he takes HER DL and runs it. Then he comes back, makes the dad take the baby, and arrests mom in front of the kids. She is asking what is going on and he is telling her to be quiet. Apparently she looks like a fugitive. Okay - this fugitive has tatooes. Our nursing mother does not have tatooes. He arrests her anyway, has her strip searched and thrown in jail. Another officer says that this is not the lady and the arrested mother asks if that officer can do something to help her. The officer tells her no.

Eventually mom is released. An arrest warrent had been issued under a phony name. Can you say, "Rookie"? Sure, I knew you could!
posted by -atomik kitten @ 12:22 PM  
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  • The Cop Magnet - my husband
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