06 December 2006
Guideline 78
78. You shall not shoot your husband over a warm beer.

Okay, so I haven't been married 50 years. I haven't been married 25 years. Heck, I haven't hit the ten year official mark yet. My husband has done some dumb stuff...and some stuff was only dumb depending on who you ask. Other stuff was just guy stuff, you know? Yet, even though some of the stuff made me want to maim him, I resisted the urge. I've never even had to fight an urge to shoot him because I ask him to get me a drink while he's up...and he brings me Dr. Pepper - and he knows (but consistently forgets because he rarely brings me a drink) I hate Dr. Pepper.

So here's the scenario: you're in your 70s...just been through a horrific ice storm. You've had no power (as in no electricity because apparently you have fire power). I can see needing a beer if you ever imbibe. I went through the same storm here. It was a freaky storm. Not too many storms where it sleets and snows...thunders and lightenings.

Your husband brings you a warm beer (could it really have been all that warm if you have no power?)...so you shoot him. Isn't that a bit over the top? I mean, it isn't like you found him doing another old lady in your bed. He didn't steal your rent money and go a'whoring. He didn't steal the rent money and buy dope.

I can see some causes that could be considered justifiable homocide - and this just isn't one of them.

If you leave me a comment, list a reason you believe should be justifiable homocide.
posted by -atomik kitten @ 8:10 AM  
  • At 5:42 PM, Blogger Margaret said…

    I can't think of a reason that would justify killing your hubby. However, I do believe a woman can be pushed to that brink if she suffers years of abuse, neglect, fear and torture. Even then I would fully support leaving him before killing him.

    A Warm Beer or warm soda - all depends, may qualify for a small justifiable flush of the toilet while he's showering.

  • At 7:16 PM, Anonymous ReY said…

    I saw this on Leno recently, and what he said really stuck: "Can you believe it? There's actually a guy out there who will fetch beer for his wife!" :)

    Besides, how do you find a "warm" beer during/after an ice storm?

  • At 7:24 PM, Blogger The Little Woman said…

    I mean justifiable homocide for anyone - doesn't have to be a spouse. ;-)

    Rey - that was my thought...where do you keep a beer warm during an ice storm when you have NO power?

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