12 December 2006
What lame morons...
You guys tired of me yet? LOL

I just received a fine piece of spam. Anyone that falls for this phishing expedition deserved it:

Dear Fifth Third bank business or commercial customer,

Okay first and foremost - I've never heard of a Fifth Third Bank and when you want to spam someone, at least be smart enough to capitalize your name (Fifth Third Bank) just like you do in your logo.

Customer Service Department of the Fifth Third bank is in a position to let you know that it is necessary to pass the procedure of acknowledgement of your client data.

Really? Hey loser - can you even TELL that your sentence is retarded? I doubt it - because I know you are going for the type of person you can confuse to get them to either (a) click on the stupid email that my spam blocker caught or (b) download your silly little attachment. So you want to do what to my client data? I don't think The Cop Magnet would be pleased.

In order to pick up all the necessary instructions and to start the procedure, you should click the link in the end of the letter.

Okay...but the whole email is hyper-linked (meaning your letter is nothing more than a graphic that you linked to a web page)...and don't you mean AT the end of the letter?

This procedure is obligatory for performance for all the business and commercial clients of the Fifth Third bank.

Really? Hey, get a thesaurus. Business = commercial. If you want to scam people (which I do not recommend, at least have the common sense to draft a convincing letter). Obligatory...you are so freaking stupid.

This instruction has been sent to all the business and commercial clients of the Fifth Third bank and is obligatory to be followed upon.

Oh bless me, Lord...where DO I begin with that sentence? Shall I start with its repetitive nature, poor capitalization, or the repetitive nature?

Oh yeah and...uhh...one more thing - don't attach your graphic twice, you idiot scum bag piece of trash. It really makes you stand out.

Fifth Third bank...give me a freaking break.

I am so tempted to start IP hunting right now.

The Little Woman gets cranky when she doesn't sleep. She gets even crankier when forced to look at this crap.
posted by -atomik kitten @ 1:19 PM  
  • At 4:29 PM, Blogger Margaret said…

    Don't you just hate the "You're a Good Christian" ones? The levels that some people sink to amazes me.

    Hey, what is your shoe size?

  • At 6:44 PM, Blogger The Little Woman said…

    7 1/2 - 8...depending on how the shoe is made. LOL

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