1. When I first married in to this family, I was the side show freak. Now I'm the normal one. How messed up is that?

2. My extended family (on both my side and my husband's side) is beginning to resemble an episode of The Jerry Springer Show.

3. I'm getting meaner with my old age. It seems I can't tolerate child neglect and emotional abusive butt-wads quite as well anymore. It makes me testy and sometimes physically aggressive toward the neglector (is that a word?) or abuser.

4. DS1 figured out how to make fart noises with his arm pits. That's a talent that will take him far in life.

5. DS3 wore his hair spiked up like a mo-hawk for the church Christmas dinner. The look on most of the faces was priceless - but those that really know us know that it isn't that big of a deal. His hair isn't CUT like that...he just keeps it spiked like that.

6. DS2 is in second grade but testing on a third grade third month math level. Not too bad for a kid that the schools want to label a problem child.

7. I just found out Sunday that I am supposed to do a nativity scene with the toddler class. The good news is our two year old version of Mary not only knows the words of Away in a Manger but also the hand motions. The bad news is, since I found out very last minute I don't know what to do about costumes. DS3 isn't very excited about this. He was excited about being a shepherd but thought he would only be saying, "Unto you a child is born." Apparently, that's been changed to a very long verse where he talks to the angel (who is a four year old with a speech problem). Can I scream now? Oh, and this is supposed to take place this Sunday.

8. I still haven't started my Christmas shopping.

9. I am getting sick of using the words, "I am not an attorney" and "No, I cannot give you legal advice". Look, just because I am getting a BS in Paralegal Studies and seem to have no problem researching laws, statutes, etc and Shepardizing them doesn't make me qualified to give you advice. I don't need to be charged with UPL - leave me alone. Now, if you want to pay for me to attend Law School and support me while I go - I might think about it.

10. I am starving and ready for lunch. I am part of an online group for Apostolic Pentecostals that support / want / need healthy (healthier) eating habits. I am doing pretty good. I was doing Sparkpeople. I started there in like April of 2006 and was weighing in at 136. It got to be a lot of trouble (hassle really) to post my weight, track my water, etc... My friend started the other group. I enjoy it, but I hate that a lot of the members (and you know who you are and I've said it in the group too) think that they should wait until after the holidays. Why? So you have MORE weight to lose? If you can control yourself now, you can do it all year. I am down to 118. I seem to have hit a plateau. I've been at 118 for about a month. My goal is 115 so I guess that isn't too far off. I've noticed big differences - I don't have dimples in my hips anymore!

11. The Little Miss and her parents will be here for Christmas. They should be in this weekend. I am looking forward to that. I don't know if she can sit through it but I plan on taking DS3 to see Charlotte's Web. I might snatch her and bring her with. DS1 wants to see Eragon so I might see if his Auntie will go with him and I'll take the little ones.

12. I finished reading Saints and Sinners by Eileen Dreyer. I have one word for you: WOW. Okay more words: that was, quite possibly the best book I've read. If you love mystery books, go to Sprawl-Mart and get that one. I read it in about two days.

13. Just to complete the trailer trash image you probably already have of me...I walked into the house (trailer) last night only to hear Jeff Foxworth's 12 Redneck Days of Christmas...and my kids singing along.