So in this family, there are a couple of events that signify your come uppance into white trash. Monkey Butt and Bry-onicle passed the pre-white trash rite last year. They both got into serious physical altercations at school.
Monkey Butt was being picked on and told me. I talked to his pre-k teacher and was told that, "He needs to learn to stand up for himself." I said, "Alrighty then...but he's a Christian (last name) and since you are apparently new to this district and never taught my husband or his brothers, don't say you weren't warned." I told Monkey Butt that night that the next time the kid hit him / pushed him / kicked him to knock the pee-fire out of him.
Sure enough - I got a call from the principal the next day. Monkey Butt knocked the kid down (after being hit several times) and then he went that extra mile. He hit the kid with a chair. I apologized for the fact the kid got hit with the chair, but I did explain to the principal that I had already talked with the teacher that he was being picked on and hit. I told the principal what the teacher said and I told her that I warned her. The principal agreed to talk to the teacher; for some reason, the whole matter was dropped. He wasn't picked on anymore.
Bry-onicle was in the lunch line last year and some kid pushed him. I guess he was having a bad day because he is usually the more rational of the bunch (must take after his mama). He grabbed the kid, slammed him into the wall and then shoved him down. Needless to say, I got to talk to the principal (not the same principal as the one he has this year). Bry-onicle was given a stern talking to by that principal and he got in trouble at home for being a little too rough.
I have no issues for my boys sticking up for themselves; it just needs to be done appropriately. What can I say...they are The Cop Magnet's stock.
Anyhoo, Unkey Monkey came by Friday night and asked to borrow my car. He left me his truck (which burns oil, is low on power steering fluid, and doesn't have working tag lights...but he won't listen to me being a girl and all...he will just have to burn up the engine and learn the hard way) just in case I needed to go anywhere.
Then it dawned on me. We live in a trailer park....and my sons have never rode in the back of a truck. Yes, I know...I am a failure as a white trash parent. So I put all three of them in the back of the truck...and did the big ole' speed of 10 MPH around the trailer park. They got a kick out of it...
And now they is officially white trash. Mama is so proud.Labels: family misadventures, white trash central |
