14 March 2007
Everyone loves a dysfunctional family get together..
We went to OKC last night to see The Cop Magnet's uncle on his 45th birthday. Nothing says family like 10 people in the same house, let me tell you.

Grandpa was there. He's senile. Poppy was there. He has Parkinson's and I can only catch about every third word he says on the phone and when he gets excited in person it is the same way.

So after a round of tacky jokes...including the definition of true innocence, Nana Beachy starts getting on to Unkey Monkey to get his hair cut for his senior pictures. She's paying for them, after all, and she just wants him to trim it. It's not long...it's just hair that needs a good cut. The Cop Magnet says something about a barber shop of, uh, ill repute (read: topless) in OKC. Apparently it is called Hot Cuts. Well I take my boys to a place called Top Cuts. I told The Cop Magnet I'll have to make sure that I am at the right barber shop next time I take the boys for hair cuts.

At that point, Poppy said something to the effect of, "Are you sh!tt!ng me? They have titty bars that double as barber shops?" This was confirmed by Uncle Birthday. They wear pasties. So The Cop Magnet says, "We ought to take Grandpa to a titty bar." Now, Grandpa is hard hearing. The Cop Magnet yells, "Grandpa! Do you want me to take you to a titty bar?" Grandpa said, "What?" So The Cop Magnet says it louder and Grandpa says, "No I don't want a cheeseburger."

At that point everyone busted out laughing - and now none of us can look at a cheeseburger the same way again.

Nana Beachy repeated what The Cop Magnet said and Grandpa said, "I don't need to go to places like that! When Mama [that's what everyone called his wife] was still alive I got to see all the titty I wanted to see. Since the good Lord called her home, that's all."

Fatty McChuckles called on our way home and I told him about it. It was creepy! No one wants to hear about granny showing her boobs to grandpa. You know? Fatty McChuckles gently reminded me of the time we went to Schlitterbaum.

Poppy gave Grandpa the video camera while we all went to ride rides. That night, we went to watch the video and it was nothing but boobs and butts. So I know I shouldn't be surprised, but it is still creepy.


posted by -atomik kitten @ 8:02 PM  
  • At 3:14 PM, Blogger PraiseFiddler said…

    OH my goodness...I'm falling off my seat laughing over here! ROTFLOL!

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Name: The Little Woman-atomik kitten
Home: Oklahoma, United States
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  • The Cop Magnet - my husband
  • Bry-onicle - my 9 year old son that loves Bionicle
  • Monkey Butt - my 7 year old son that loves adventure
  • Squarepants Star - my 9 year old step-son that loves Spongebob
  • Nana Beachy - my MIL
  • Big Baldy - my older brother
  • Dumb Dog - my very dumb turkish sheep dog (Anatolian Shepherd)
  • FC15 - my cat that weighs 15 pounds
  • Pup Dog - Boomer, our American Boxer
  • Unkey Monkey - my 19 y.o. brother in law
  • The Little Miss - my 3 y.o. niece
  • Fatty McChuckles - USAF BIL, father of The Little Miss
  • Peg Leg - the wife of Fatty McChuckles and mom of The Little Miss
  • Grandpa - Grandpa Joe; my husband's grandfather
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