12 April 2007
Southern Women
SOUTHERN WOMEN

Southern women appreciate their natural assets:

Clean skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.

Southern women know their manners:

"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."
"Why no, Billy!"

Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :

"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"

Southern women know their summer weather report:

Humidity
Humidity
Humidity

Southern women know their vacation spots:

The beach
The rivuh
The crick

Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:

Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sun dresses
Iced sweet tea with mint

Southern women know everybody's first name:

Honey
Darlin'
Shugah

Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:

Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind

Southern women know their religions:

Baptist
Pentecostal
Methodist
Football

Southern women know their country breakfasts:

Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly

Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:

Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna

Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:

Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler

Southern girls know their prime real estate:

The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:

Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food

More Suthen-ism's:

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of"yonder."

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "rigt near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," . we talk to everybody!

Put 100 Southerers in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" and go your own way.

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from theSouth, but I got here as fast as I could."

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !

Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been!

If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could

Labels:

posted by -atomik kitten @ 8:09 PM  
1 Comments:
  • At 9:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Too true, too true! Y'all know us Southerners better than a cow knows how to moo.

    Have a wonderful day and bless your heart, Hon!

    From a proud Okie and Southerner at heart.

     
Post a Comment
<< Home
 
 
About Me


Name: The Little Woman-atomik kitten
Home: Oklahoma, United States
About Me: I guess you'll learn about me by visiting this blog.

See my complete profile

B-List Blogger

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Get your own free Blogoversary button!

Add Snippets to your site



________________
Add this to your site

Blinkies
Babe Blinkies

Blinkies
Babe Blinkies

Blinkies
Christian Blinkies

Blinkies
Family Blinkies

Blinkies
Family Blinkies

Blinkies
Mom Blinkies

MySpace Icons

Join Associated Content

Characters


  • The Cop Magnet - my husband
  • Bry-onicle - my 9 year old son that loves Bionicle
  • Monkey Butt - my 7 year old son that loves adventure
  • Squarepants Star - my 9 year old step-son that loves Spongebob
  • Nana Beachy - my MIL
  • Big Baldy - my older brother
  • Dumb Dog - my very dumb turkish sheep dog (Anatolian Shepherd)
  • FC15 - my cat that weighs 15 pounds
  • Pup Dog - Boomer, our American Boxer
  • Unkey Monkey - my 19 y.o. brother in law
  • The Little Miss - my 3 y.o. niece
  • Fatty McChuckles - USAF BIL, father of The Little Miss
  • Peg Leg - the wife of Fatty McChuckles and mom of The Little Miss
  • Grandpa - Grandpa Joe; my husband's grandfather
Previous Post


Archives

Links

Blog Rolls

Image hosting by TinyPic

Affiliates