You would think that with the new knowledge that I got an A in LR&W the elephant sitting on my chest would go away. He did for a while, yesterday. Then I called my mom.
Somehow or another, we started talking about my dad. For my new readers, my dad passed away about two years ago - but trust me, I aint mourning. He died of a drug overdose (that isn't the official listed cause of death, but my brother and I sort of "CSI"-d it out). Essentially, he took a bunch of pills, got dizzy, fell, ruptured the big vein in his neck, and drowned in his own blood. And who said God doesn't pay people back for their evil?
Anyway...things went pretty smooth at home last night. My back was acting up (I have scoliosis and Lupus) so I took a hot shower more or less as soon as I got home. Pup Dog decided he wanted a shower...at the same time. Bry-onicle and Monkey Butt watched Ed, Edd, and Eddy in their room. The Cop Magnet watched the horror that is American Idol with me.
At 8, I put the boys to bed. The Cop Magnet had a phone call so I went to lay on the heating pad and finish reading Red Dragon or is it The Red Dragon. I did fall asleep, but I had nightmares all night - about living with my parents...mostly my dad. Being separated from my kids. I woke up on and off but couldn't get all the way awake - except when Monkey Butt got up needing a drink.
Needless to say, I was a bear this morning to The Cop Magnet. He didn't do anything wrong. I was just totally stressing out. I thought about taking a Vistaril but ended up not doing it. They don't make me tired, but I don't want to take the chance during the drive to work. Who knows - maybe the Vistaril will change its mind and decide to make me tired. So, I've got some apologizing to do - and I will.
So the elephant is back on my chest. Where does a 3 ton elephant sit? Any dang where he wants - apparently he chose to sit on me.
Unwell - Matchbox 20 (I think that's the name of the song)
All day staring at the ceiling Making friends with shadows on my wall All night hearing voices telling me that I should get some sleep Because tomorrow might be good For something Hold on feeling like I'm heading for a Break down and I dunno why I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then You'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be Talking to myself in public And dodging glances on the train And I know I know that they've all been talking about me I can hear their whisper And it makes me feel that there must be something wrong with me After all the hours thinking somehow I've lost my mind I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be I've been talking in my sleep Soon they'll come to get me And they're taking me away I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired I know Right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be And how I used to be How I used to be I'm just a little lonely How I used to be How I used to be I'm just a little unwell
